aragorn and legolas what should have happened
by legolasisgay1223
Summary: Legolas and aragorn are in love, but what will arwen do to destroy there realtionship?  sam and frodo are together but what happens when one of them dies?
1. confessions

**ARAGORN AND LEGOLAS- WHAT SHOULD HAVE REALLY HAPPENED**

Legolas looked at the incredibly sexy man in-front of him, the man whose name was Aragorn was topless and so manly, masculine and extremely sexy, Legolas wanted him bad but there love was forbidden.

Aragorn saw Legolas looking at him with, what he thought, a hint of lust and wanted desires in his eyes.

" hello Legolas how is my beau- i mean, good friend today?" Aragorn said a little too quickly.

" why im ok Aragorn, i-i just need to tell you something...I LOVE YOU!, i always have and i always will, your the reason i wake up in the mornings and your the light in my life" Legolas confessed and ran away weeping.

Aragorn ran after him, when he caught up to the blonde beauty he embraced him and wept into his shoulder.

" oh Legolas i love you too, i love Arwen but you- your my true love and i have always wanted you, ever since the fellow-ship and it made me so hot for you when you took down all those orcs with such grace, yet so much masculine quality's, whilst Arwen the stupid elf bitch did nothing" Aragorn said with tears streaming down his face.

Legolas and Aragorn kissed so passionately mount doom could feel the heat and when they finally broke apart they were so lost in each others eyes they didnt realize Arwen was watching them

" Arwen i was going to tell you-" Aragorn was cut off when Arwen started screaming

" ARAGORN I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TOO ME, IM THE ELF PRINCESS AND YOU CHOOSE A LITTLE ELF MAN? WHAT THE HELL!" Arwen screamed in anger.

" ARWEN GO AWAY, ARAGORN IS MY MAN NOW SO JUST LEAVE US ALONE SO WE CAN MAKE LOVE!"

Arwen left in tears but Legolas was to busy too notice as he was stripping off for Aragorn

Legolas wanted Aragorn so bad he ripped Aragorns pants off with his teeth and they made hot passionate love all night and day for the next 3 days.

by the end neither Legolas or Aragorn could walk or ride horses for the next 2 weeks


	2. coming out of the closet

1 month had passed since Aragorn and Legolas expressed there love for eachother.

"Aragorn we must tell the council, you must tell the people of Gondor and i have to tell my people" Legolas said to Aragorn in a whisper

"yes we must, but dont worry your pretty little elf head my love, we shall tell them at the feast tonight, then we might have some fun, im feeling a little frisky today" Aragorn winked.

"Aragorn you beast of a man, my rear is still damaged after the last time we made love, but im feeling a little naughty my self" Legolas grinned with eyes full of lust and passion.

THE FEAST...

Legolas walked into the hall wearing a tight fitting tunic with tight pants for Aragorns pleasure, his blonde, silky hair in pretty braids with little clips.

When Legolas saw Aragorn his breath was swept away, Aragorn was wearing a super tight fitting top that showed his masculine muscles in all there glory and even tighter pants for legolases pleasure.

they took there seats at the dining table and greeted everyone.

after everyone had finished there food Aragorn started making a speech.

" As you all know me and Arwen are not on very good terms, but i have found someone else whom i love with all my heart and with certain other organs- but the point is me and Arwen are over and i am currently together with...Legolas." Aragorn said boldly without fear

there were gasps from all around and a big frenzy of shouting started

" BUT ARAGORN LEGOLAS IS A MAN! HOW WILL HE PROVIDE A CHILD TO TAKE OVER THE THRONE? HOW WILL HE SATISFY YOU IN BED AND HOW CAN YOU DO THIS!" Gimli shouted.

Legolas stood up and replied in a calm voice " Gimli male elves can have children too only its a bit harder to concieve and i will have you know i satisfy Aragorn very well in bed!"

Aragorn ran up to Legolas and kissed him with so much lust and passion everybody, even Gimli, was brought to tears

all of a sudden Sam stood up and stood infront of Frodo

"MR FRODO I LOVE YOU, EVER SINCE WE WENT ON THE QUEST I HAVE ALWAYS DESIRED YOU, ROSIE IS GREAT BUT I WANT YOU! YOUR SO SEXY WHEN YOUR SCARED AND WHEN I SAVED YOU FROM ORCS AND YOU DIDNT HAVE YOUR SHIRT ON, I WAS SO HOT AND NOW I WANT YOU" Sam confessed

"oh Sam i love you too" Frodo declared and kissed sam full on the lips and both of them ran to the bedroom, closely followed by Aragorn and Legolas

All night the only sound to be heard was the sound of Sam and Frodo losing there virginity to butt sex and Aragorn and Legolas having some naughty fun in the bed

little did they know in 1 years time there would be a baby in someone's lives...


	3. a blessing or a mistake?

2 months later...

Legolas ran to the bathroom and emptied his stomach contents, Aragorn ran in after him and rubbed his back soothingly.

" Legolas you have been vomiting every morning for the past month, what is wrong my love?" Aragorn asked soothingly

" i don't know Estel i didn't get my period last month..." Legolases voice trailed off and realization hit his eyes

" what is it Legolas?" Aragorn asked in a panicked tone

Legolas ran out and ran straight to a healer

1 hour later Legolas finally re-apearred

"Aragorn you wont believe this but well..remember 2 months ago when we got naughty, well i didn't use the pill and now...im pregnant!" Legolas said with joy

Aragorns eyes rolled into the back of his head and he collapsed

"ARAGORN NOOOOOOOO" Legolas wailed as his lover hit the floor.

when Aragorn finally awoke he was in bed and Legolas was lying next to him.

" Legolas i had the weirdest dream that you told me you were pregnant" Aragorn laughed

"Aragorn that was not a dream, i am pregnant and you fainted" Legolas said with caution

"WHAT LEGOLAS HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? WE USED THE PILL!" Aragorn screamed

"Aragorn you were on top and your swimmers got through and i need your support" Legolas said a strong as he could

meanwhile Arwen was coming up with a plot to kill Legolas and claim the man she loves

"i shall rip off his balls with my teeth if i have to" Arwen growled

"i know, ada told me Legolas is pregnant, THAT BABY SHALL NOT LIVE TO SEE DAYLIGHT! ARAGORN AND LEGOLAS SHALL PAY A BIG PRICE...

in another love triangle, Sam and Frodo were making hot,passionate love in the shires garden, little did they know Sam's little daughter was watching them from the safety of a bush

she had to tell her mum what her daddy was putting in uncle Frodos rear

how will Rosie react? will Aragorn support Legolas? will Arwen really rip off Legolases balls with her teeth? keep reading to find out !


	4. stuck

"Aragorn, will you support me?" Legolas asked with tears in his eyes

"Legolas you must understand, im going to be a father and so will you, and your carrying my child, its very unusual and i don't know if im ready" Aragorn said with tears streaming down his face

"but Aragorn, this child is a blessing and i will have it with your support or without it" Legolas cried before running out of the room and into his room before collapsing on the bed and for the rest of the day crying his eyes out, often stopping to throw up in the bathroom.

meanwhile...

Sam's little girl Elaine was talking to her mum Rosie

"mummy,mummy guess what?, daddy is putting his little hobbit into uncle frodos rear and was making loud moaning sounds" Elaine said happily

Rosie looked at Elaine in horror before running out to the garden and screamed at the sight she saw.

Sam was riding frodo and moaning sexually while Frodo was chanting "Sam, Sam, Sam, OH SAM!"

"SAMWISE WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?" Rosie screeched, Sam looked up and tried to get up, but he was stuck doggy-style to Frodo

"Rosie i was going to tell you, but i had something more important to do" Sam quickly glanced down at Frodo before continuing "Rosie i love you, but i love you as a friend, i love Frodo in a loving way and in a good-in-bed way too, Rosie you were never good in bed, Frodo delivers my desires" Sam said teary eyed

Rosie ran away screaming like a hawk and disappeared into the shire's forest

"oh Sam i love you too, now could you please remove your...genitals from my rear please" Frodo said quietly

"Mr Frodo i wish i could but well...its stuck" Sam said embarrassed and blushing

elsewhere...

Arwen paced around in her chamber, thinking of a perfect revenge for Legolas and Aragorn

" i know, once the baby is born, i shall kidnap it, hire Gandalf to rape it, give it to the most wicked orc of them all and let them kill it" Arwen snarled

" ARAGORN SHALL PAY AND SO WILL HIS PRETTY, FAIR HAIRED ELF MAN!"

Arwen Hollered

will Aragorn be a good dad?, will Sam be able to remove his genitals from Frodos butt and will Gandalf rape the baby? keep reading to find out


	5. dead

" SAM! IT HURTS" Frodo yelped as Sam tried to pull his genitals out of Frodos butt. " Im sorry Mr Frodo but it is well and truly stuck" Sam blushed. "you know Mr Frodo, this is making me very...hot for you in your vulnerable position and maybe we could get a little...naughty?" Sam said with lust in his eyes. "why Sam i thought you would never ask, im very...hot myself and i have desires you could easily for fill" Frodo replied with even more lust in eyes eyes.

meanwhile...

Aragorn walked into Legolases room and found the blonde elf on his bed sleeping in the nude

Aragorn looked at him for a while before stripping off himself and climbing into bed with his elf.

Legolas awoke a while later to find Aragorn wearing nothing at all and groping his rear, only then he realized that he too, was wearing nothing at all. "ARAGORN RELEASE MY ASS AND PUT SOME CLOTHES ON" Legolas screeched. Araorn woke with a start and slowly released Legolases ass. "im sorry Legolas but i was so tired and i came here to tell you good news...i will support you through your pregnancy and with he child, i realize now that our child is a miracle and i will do my best to be a good father" Aragorn declared whilst crying with happiness. " oh Aragorn thank you so much" Legolas replied and then embraced Aragorn and kissed him with a kiss so deep they could taste eachothers throats

elsewhere...

Arwen and Gandalf were talking in a private space with hushed voices, Arwen was telling Gandalf her master plan. "so Gandalf once i kidnap the child you must rape it so hard blood will pour out, do you understand me? Arwen asked. "Yes Arwen i understand, and i must say i am truly honoured to do this for you, for i havnt gotten lucky since i was 20, ah i was every woman (and mens) god in bed, i had so many moves, i was so strong, flexible and manly, now im just a old man who perves on small children. thank you Arwen i shall not let you down" Gandalf cried

" i know you wont Gandalf, for i trust you with this task-" Arwen was cut off when they heard a scream from the garden. they both ran out too see what was going on.

the sight they saw shocked them. Rosie held a big, cutting knife in one hand and Sams balls is the other.

"AAHHHHHH MY BALLS! MY BALLS! ROSIE YOU BITCH, WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT?" Sam screamed in pain and anger.

"because Sam, you left me for that Frodo Baggins so now you and he shall pay" Rosie said with a angry glint in her eyes.

Rosie went up to Frodo and shoved Sams balls into Frodos mouth and watched him choke, Frodos eyes bulged and he went blue. " YOU BITCH! DONT HURT MY MAN!" Sam screamed before getting the knife and stabbing Rosie in the back of the head.

Sam looked at his dead wife before rushing over to Frodo, but he was too late, Frodo Baggins was dead.


	6. grieving and baby sitting

1 week had passed since Frodo had chocked to death on Sam's balls. Sam had sunk into deep depression and was talking it out on his friends.

Sam was talking to Gandalf about a important matter. "Gandalf could you please look after Elaine and Marsh for me? i need some space and your the only person i can trust to look after my children, ever since Frodo died i-i haven't been able to look after them,G-GANDLAF I MISS HIM SO MUCH, I DONT THINK I CAN GO ON, IVE BEEN TRYING TO GET OVER HIM AND I CANT!, I TOUCH MYSELF, MASTURABTE AND TRY TO LOOK AT NAKED MEN IN THE RIVER, BUT NONE OF THEM ARE MY FRODO!" Sam cried in anguish and sadness. "Sam i understand, and its ok to feel like this, go away and try to heal, i will look after Elaine and Marsh with such tender love that is illeg- i mean, just what they need during these difficult times, do they miss there mother much? Gandalf asked, his voice filled with sad emotion. "Elaine does, she cries every night but Marsh is too young to understand" Sam said, still crying. " shall i collect Elaine and Marsh now" Gandalf asked very excited. " yes, ok i shall bring them to you" Sam replied.

Gandalfs house...

Elaine and Marsh waved good-bye to there father when Gandalf walked up to them. "children can i have a hug?" Gandalf said in a seductive voice. the children ran up to hug there uncle Gandalf, but what they didn't realize is that when they were hugging Gandalf, his hands were sliding down to their asses and he groped them, he felt a festival in his pants while doing so. Gandalf thought of a

wonderful plan to see them naked. "children bath time..."

meanwhile...

Sam was in the shires forest just relaxing whilst crying for his beloved Frodo. he heard a rustling in

a bush which worried him, for he was all alone. suddenly a orc burst out and pinned Sam to the ground. "why 'ello hobbit, your a tight little package arnt you? i think we shall have some...fun" the orc said with messed-up passion in his eyes. " no please god no!" Sam cried while the orc was removing his panties. "LET GO OF MY MAN!" a new voice boomed. Sam turned to see Frodo standing behind him, completely naked. "MR FRODO IS THAT YOU?" Sam cried in joy. "'keep him i don't care, hes got no balls anyway" the orc said and ran away. " Mr Frodo how are you here, you choked on my balls, how are you alive?" Sam said whilst looking at Frodos naked figure. " lady Gladriel granted me the wish of life, plus i sort of killed her and absorbed her power.

Sam and Frodo spent the rest of the day making hot love in the shires forest and kissing passionately for hours at a time.

meanwhile Gandalf was raping Sam's children silly


	7. lies and morning sickness

Sam and Frodo had just arrived back to the shire after being reunited, Frodo was still naked and Sam's panties were stolen by the orc. Sam arrived at Gandalfs house to collect Elaine and Marsh, his children, but when he walked into Gandalfs house he was welcomed by Gandalf. "hello Sam, are you bett-" Gandalf was cut mid-sentence when he saw Frodo standing behind Sam still naked. "F-Frodo, h-how are you here?" Gandalf asked with a shocked expression. "i killed Lady Gladrielle in elf heaven and absorbed her power, which bought me back to life" Frodo explained, but Gandalf wasn't listening because he was looking at Frodos junk which was still horny for Sam. "Frodo would you like some clothes?" Gandalf asked, never taking his eyes off Frodos junk. "ive come for Elaine and Marsh, where are they?" asked Sam, completely unaware that his children had been raped every day they were in Gandalfs care. "i shall get them, but i must warn you, they were playing with my staff and they cast a spell on eachother making them tell horrific lies" Gandalf said, eyes still on Frodos junk. " oh my ok let me see my children" Sam said, believing Gandalfs lie.

Elaine came limping up to her father, crying her eyes out. "DADDY, UNCLE GANDALF PUT HIS SPECIAL, SENSITIVE PLACE IN MY SPECIAL, SENSITIVE PLACE! AND HE PUT IT IN MARSH'S REAR AS WELL!" Elaine cried and while she was, Marsh crawled up to his daddy and begged to leave. "ok children lets go" Sam said before mouthing the words "im sorry" to

Gandalf, not believing his children at all.

meanwhile...

Legolas's morning sickness had gotten really bad as his pregnancy progressed and Aragorn didn't know how to help, apparently elves pregnancy's were very difficult because the child is immortal and that takes a lot of energy out of the mother, or father in this case, so Aragorn was worried for Legolas, but he was looking forward to the 2nd trimester because that's when hormones go everywhere and Legolas will be horny all the time, and that's something Aragorn could help with.

Arwen was still thinking of the perfect revenge for Aragorn and she decided to "help" Legolas

she approached Legolas in his room holding a glass with purple liquid in it. "Legolas, drink this, it will help, do not worry i hold no grudges against you for being with Aragorn, i see that your

happy and i would like to help you with this pregnancy if that's alright with you" Arwen said in her most sincere voice. "Arwen that would be greatly appreciated" Legolas said with happiness in his eyes. "drink this, it will help with the morning sickness" Arwen said and handed the glass to Legolas. "thank you" Legolas said as he drank the liquid. "with this child being immortal its really taking the energy out of me" Legolas said with a tired smile. "of course, now you rest Legolas, i shall see you later" Arwen said and left.

Little did Legolas know, but the liquid Arwen gave him makes people mortal and Legolases child is now being turned mortal and they have no idea!

"this is going better than i expected:" Arwen thought to herself as she made her room, only to discover Merry and Pippin making hot love on her bed and whispering dirty words to eachother.

"oh merry you bad, bad boy, touching me there- NO DONT STOP! NEVER STOP!" Pippin moaned sexually. Arwen walked away in disgust, not daring to go back in until the sheets were cleaned and the horny hobbits were gone.


	8. pregnant and missing

3 months later...

Elaine walked up to her daddy looking very tired and with vomit on her clothes. "daddy, i keep vomiting in the mornings and im very tired" Elaine said quietly. "ok, ill take you to a healer sweetie" Sam said looking at his daughter sympathetically. "Frodo, im going to take Elaine to a healer, could you please look after Marsh?" Sam called out to Frodo. " sure thing Sam" Frodo replied.

at the healers...

"hi Elaine, what can i do for you today?"asked nurse Bethany. "ive been vomiting every morning for 2 months and im very tired" Elaine said. "ok and how old are you?" nurse Bethany asked "im 9 years old" replied Elaine, unaware that her life was going to be changed forever. "ok well i have to examine you" nurse Bethany explained while touching Elaine's stomach, but she pulled away and gasped. "Elaine i need to speak with your daddy ok? nurse Bethany said before running out to find Sam. "Sam, i need you to stay calm ok, Elaine is...pregnant" nurse Bethany said in a small voice. Sam's face went pale before he started crying, but then he was pissed off. "HOW THE HELL IS SHE PREGNANT! SHE HAS NEVER EVEN HEARD ABOUT SEX BEFORE! SHES 9 YEARS OLD FOR CHRIST SAKES!" Sam screamed, but then realization hit him, Elaine tried to tell him that Gandalf had raped her and he didn't believe her, Gandalf was going to pay. Sam turned on his heels and ran to Gandalfs house.

when Sam got to Gandalfs house he broke down the door and stopped infront of Gandalf. "Sam, what is wrong, what has happened" Gandalf said casually. " GANDALF YOU PIECE OF HORSE SHIT, YOU RAPED ELAINE! AND GUESS WHAT? SHES PREGNANT! I HOPE YOUR HAPPY, IM TELLING ARAGORN AND YOU WILL PAY, STAY AWAY FROM ME, MY CHILDREN AND YOUR SOON- TO BE-CHILD!" Sam exploded before running home to Frodo.

Sam burst through the door, crying, and shaking in anger. Frodo appeared in the door way and ran straight to Sam. " Sam, baby, what's wrong?" Frodo asked in a concerned voice. "Gandalf h-he r-raped my Elaine and now she's p-p-pregnant" Sam gasped before collapsing. Frodo just sat in numb shock, not because of Elaine being pregnant but because Gandalf had done such a terrible thing.

Sam awoke a while later to find that he was in bed. "where is Elaine?" Sam asked Frodo, who was sleeping in the nude next to him. "i-i don't know, did you not bring her home?" Frodo asked quickly. "no-i ran straight to Gandalfs house when i found out she was pregnant, didn't you go get her?" Sam asked Frodo. "no i thought you were going to" Frodo replied. "ok lets go get her" Sam said.

healers place...

Sam and Frodo (who is still naked because he didn't get time to put clothes on) walked up to nurse Bethany and asked her where Elaine was. "she went home with a old man, ganduf or something" nurse Bethany said. Sam looked like he could kill her. "do you mean Gandalf" Sam asked. getting more worried by the second. "yes that was his name, Gandalf" nurse Bethany replied, completely unaware that Gandalf raped Elaine.

"YOU IDIOT BITCH! GANDALF RAPED ELAINE 3 MONTHS AGO! HE IS THE FATHER OF MY LITTLE GIRlS BABY!" Sam screamed. "oh crap" nurse Bethany replied.

in Gandalfs house...

"i wanna go home" Elaine cried but Gandalf just shook his head. "if you want to go home you must join me in the bed...

meanwhile Sam, and Frodo (who is STILL naked ) were looking for Aragorn to tell him that Gandalf is a pedo. when the found him they ran up to him and explained. "ARAGORN YOU HAVE TO HELP! GANDALF RAPED ELAINE AND MARSH AND NOW ELAINS PREGNANT WITH HIS BABY AND HE HAS KIDNAPPED HER, PLEASE HELP ME GET MY DAUGHTER BACK!" Sam screamed. Aragorn leaned down to Sam's height and whispered 4 words. "he raped me too" Aragorn whispered. Aragorn rose to his full height and said "lets get your daughter back!"

ohhhh shits gonna go down!


	9. choking and still naked

Sam, Frodo and Aragorn all ran to Gandalfs house to rescue Elaine from Gandalfs junk. when Sam, Frodo (who is still naked) and Aragorn arrived at Gandalfs house they busted the door down and went inside cautiously. there was no- one in the living room, but the bedroom was another story. they all ran into the bedroom to find a sight that bought Sam to tears. Elaine was lying naked and motionless on the bed, her eyes were pale and so was her skin complexion. Sam ran over to his little girl and cradled her body. "NO NOT MY ELAINE, PLEASE LET THIS BE A DREAM, A BAD DREAM..." Sam's voice trailed off as he began weeping and Frodo embraced him with his scrawny arms and wept as well. Aragorn stood there motionless, not wanting to disturb the grieving family, but he also couldn't keep his eyes off Frodos junk, which was huge for hobbit size. "no wonder Sam moans so loud when they are making love" Aragorn thought to himself. Sam was still weeping but he noticed Elaines throat looked swollen. he slowly opened her mouth and peered inside. in the back of her throat there was something jammed in there, so he slowly pulled it out. Sam gasped in horror and dropped it. Frodo looked down in wonder and gasped too. it was Gandalfs balls. "my poor baby, SHE BIT GANDALFS BALLS OFF AND SHE CHOKED ON THEM!" Sam cried in anguish. Frodo looked like he was living his death again. "Sam, trust me, when Rosie shoved your balls down my throat i didn't suffer, it was quick and painless, i promise" Frodo said calmly to Sam.; "my poor baby" Sam weeped into Frodos shoulder.

meanwhile

Gandalf was limping through the woods, holding his wounded balls (what was left of them)

"the stupid bitch, biting off a mans testicles, WHAT WAS SHE THINKING! i shall never be able to satisfy a woman, man and child again! i hope the bitch dies" Gandalf said before looking up into the sky, " FUCK YOU ELAINE, YOU STUPID 9 YEAR OLD BITCH, YOU RUINED ME! FUCK YOU TO CONDOM, YOU FAILED ME!" Gandalf swore into the heavens.

Elsewhere...

Legolas was going to Arwen to thank her for giving him the drink that stopped his morning sickness. when he arrived at her room and opened the door he saw a sight that shall haunt him forever. Merry and Pippin were still making hot love (even after 3 months) and were still moaning dirty, sexual words to eachother. Legolas backed out of the room slowly, still memorized by them. he slowly shut the door and threw up in disgust. Arwen walked up to Legolas to greet him, but was interrupted by Legolas vomiting. "i assume you saw Merry and Pippin, little soldiers they are, been going at it like rabbits for 3 months now" Arwen said whilst looking at her closed bedroom door. "THEY ARE SICK! NO LOVE MAKING SHOULD BE DONE IN THOSE POSITIONS!" Legolas cried in disgust. "i agree" Arwen replied, looking a little green herself. "anyway, i came to thank you for the drink you gave me for the morning sickness, it really helped" Legolas smiled. "your welcome Legolas, i wish to help you through this pregnancy and i am, so your welcome" Arwen said with a fake smile, but with a evil glint in her eye, but Legolas did not see it.

whilst they were talking Sam ran between them screaming "GANDALF YOU MOLESTING BASTARD, IM GOING TO KILL YOU!" but Frodo was running behind him (still naked) trying to coax him back, yelling "CALM DOWN SAM, WE WILL FIND GANDALF BUT WE MUST BE PATIENT" except Frodo fell and landed on his junk. " JESUS CHRIST, MOTHERFUCKER OOOWWWWWWWWWWW, MY BALLS" Frodo cried out in pain. Legolas and Arwen ran over to help him and asked what was going on. "well Gandalf was babysitting Elaine and Marsh but he raped them, and Elaine got pregnant but Gandalf kidnapped her and raped her again, but Elaine bit off his balls and choked on them, so now she's dead and Sam wants revenge:" Frodo explained, still holding his junk. Legolas wasn't listening, as he was memorized by Frodos swollen balls. "well i must go otherwise he will do something he'll regret" said Frodo before running after Sam. "hhmmmm revenge, sounds like a plan" said Arwen with another evil glint in her eyes before walking away. Legolas didn't hear or notice, because he was still looking at Frodo running naked through the forest.


	10. Funeral

Sam, Frodo, Merry, Pippin, Aragorn, Arwen, Legolas and Marsh all watched as Elain's body was set on fire to be cremated. Sam watched with tear filled eyes and wrapped his arm around Frodo who was watching in sadness but was also looking at Merry and Pippin who were making out in the safety of the thick smoke. Frodo thought Sam looked very attractive in the black dress he was wearing and the veil was very mysterious. Sam had been feeling like crap ever since Elaine had died but he had felt a little better when he had killed Gandalf.

Flashback...

Sam was on the hunt for Gandalf and was catching up to him very quickly. Frodo was still naked and chasing after Sam trying to calm him down. Sam could see Gandalf in the distance and ran even faster. He ploughed into Gandalf and sent him to the ground where he pinned him down and kneed him in the remainder of his nuts. " YOU BASTARD! YOU KILLED MY DARLING GIRL, NOW YOU WILL PAY!" Sam screamed before smashing his fist into Gandalfs face and breaking his nose. "SAMWISE GAMGEE DO NOT TOUCH THE FACE" Gandalf roared and pounced on Sam, but Sam was to small and too quick so he dodged it...just. Sam tripped Gandalf over and kicked him in the ball he had left. " OWWWWWWWWWW NOOOOOOO NOT MY NUT PLEASE NOT MY NUT!" Gandalf screamed in pain. Sam found a long sharp pointed stick and commanded Gandalf to lie on his stomach. Gandalf did as he commanded and Sam removed Gandalfs pants, then he shoved the stick up Gandalfs butt. He heard a soft Gurgle and then Gandalf went limp. The white wizard was dead.

The group slowly walked away from Elain's burning carcass with happy memories of her

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


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